Spooky Halloween
Written around 1980 by Ken Drummond

On Halloween night
When witches are out
And cats that are black
Cross your path...
Howling, winding.
Chilling, coldly.
Shrieking, sobbing,
Never mind -- for now.

First:
Pumpkins in the pumpkin patch,
Farmer grew them
With a hoe.
There was a scarecrow
Somewhere nearby
and a fence
Or a hedgerow.

The pumpkins will be pulled from the patch And carved out and opened up
For Halloween is coming soon.

The leaves might be falling
Around that time.
The wind might be blowing.
The puddles may freezing.
A boy on a bicycle might peddle by.

An undercurrent of excitement
Passes through the classrooms
For this is Halloween.
Halloween is coming.

We'll trick ‘er treat.
There'll be a party
Somewhere sure.
Fireworks, treats, costumes galore,
Candies and peanuts,
Apples and lollipops.

Going round to houses
If you're young enough,
With your great big bag,
All dressed up,
Sheets and pillows,
Masks or stocking over head.
Little ones, bigger ones,
Dogs about
And cats,
For it's Halloween.

Ghosts about
And goblins
Witches flying on brooms.

See the pumpkins all lit up,
On porches and in windows.
See the pumpkin teeth, pumpkin eyes, pumpkin noses.

The witch flies on her broom
Past the moon.
We see her silhouette
On the moon.

How does she get up there,
The old hag?
She's all dressed in black
With a pointed top hat.
They say that she's ugly...

There's bats in her belfry,
I know that.

She mounts onto her broomstick,
And wither away,
Up above;
We seldom see her.
She has a pot,
And sister witches.
They stir around.
They may have warts
And hair where not wanted,
But I think they're kindly
And maybe even pretty.

Good witches.
Good spells.
Helping people.
Our modern Halloween witches.

Ghosts too are friendly,
Perhaps a bit lonely.
I think that they're carricaturish.
They like Halloween.

Swoosh, swoosh go the broomsticks,
Through the night air.
The children are coming;
Get their treats ready there.

Ah, there is the little one,
Covered in sheet!
Isn't he cute?
Isn't she sweet?

Where will you be on Halloween night?
Out in the dark,
Or cowering with fright?

Where will you be
When the witches come by
Across with their broomsticks
O'er the night sky?

They're stirring something in their pot.
The steam rises up.
They cackle and shriek.
They babble and gurgle.

They wear their black nighties
And top pointed hats,
With maybe teeth missing──
Or none at all.

They're real old hags,
And they're up to no good, I'm sure,
As they stir their pots round and round
And ride on their brooms.

Their cats are black too,
As they walk in front of you,
Acrossin' your path,
Bringing nothing but trouble,
I've heard.

Hobgoblins and spookies
Do dwell in the woods,
Lurking and plotting to frighten you good.

Woooooo, go the ghosts,
Their traditional sound,
And soon they will catch you
And trip you around.

They'll put you in dithers
And trial for shrieks,
They'll poke you and skirt you
Till you're all full of terror.

Then cast you out into the dark,
With nobody round,
No street lights,
Just hobgoblins and owls,
And spider webs
And bats flying in your face
When you least expect it,
Biting your nose
As you terrified cry.
You're panicked and horrified
And sobbing inside.

The hob gob gob goblins
Will start on you then.
They'll burble your ear
Full of garbage, and then
They'll bundle you round
Till you don't know where's up,
Or down again, sideways;
Which way to the ground?
They'll fill up your mind
With their burb burbling sound,
Till your thoughts they aren't yours no more,
Till you're all spun around.

With terror inside you,
Confusion within you,
Disgust your self-image,
Throw-up for your name.

And these are the things that
Hob goblins'll do te ya,
So better be careful,
Don't let them get hold a' ya.

Say "Get you behind me,
You're no bother to me.
I'll call my good fairy,
And she'll attend to ye!"

But bubble-de, bubble-de, bubble-de, bubble-de──
Here come the witches
On their broomsticks, remember?
To cast on you spells galore,
To trick you and tie you.

Now you're poised just above
Their horrible pot,
With spiders all round
And toad legs and roaches.

About to be lowered
Down into the broth,
While the dames they do cackle.
Their horrible faces,
Full-shadowed and ugly,
Peer at you, leer at you,
Maul you and poke you,
Prepare you for lowering
Into their slime.

Now down you are hoisted,
To the sickening broth,
Head first you go downward...
It's Halloween night!

It's trick or treat candies,
Bright light from the porch light,
The warmth from inside there,
From drizzle without.

While off o'er the meadow
The boys are conspiring
To tip o'er the privies,
To soap up the windows,
To egg well the autos,
To moon and be mooned.

Regret the next morning
If too far their fancies,
More trouble than fun,
Says the daytime to scorn.

But now it's flying toilet rolls
Cross the road and the branches.
It's fun for the moment...

At home there are candies
And cookies to eat.
Don't eat too many
Or you'll be sick.

Now share with your brothers
And sisters and granddad,
And pick up the peanut shells
And candy wrappers.

And down at the bonfire
They're toasting marshmallows
And giving out prizes
For all the best costumes.

Up, look at the fireworks,
Heavenly displays.
Which one will be higher
And bigger and better?

Halloween's over.
The pumpkins will sit
Till pie time or compost,
Their faces a-sagging.

And one Halloween
I'll find me a good witch
Who'll show me her broomstick
And take me a-riding.

She'll be young and pretty,
Watching out for the children,
To keep them from mischief
On Halloween night.

To make brave their hearts
And warm milk and cookies
And happiness, gladness,
And love and good friendship.

Protecting the puppies
From tricks of the pranksters,
To watch o'er the little ones,
Keep them from tripping.

Help all in sharing,
And loving and being good.
Make them nice little witches
And goblins and ghosts.