Dr. Kachoo, Sneezing Expert--Kachoo 2
May 6, 1994
This is the second article by Dr. Kachoo. You may want to start with his first article.
Last time, I discussed sneezing and the art of civilized man. Today I
want to bring to your attention a little known phenomenon that has
plagued humankind since the dawn of pre-recorded history, to wit, the
graceless sneeze sprayer. This is an individual who insists on sneezing
without using his hankie, even without holding his hand in front of his
mouth -- and sprays all over the room.
Remedies for such careless behavior abound but are often not
implemented until it is too late. I need not discuss here the
multifarious ways by which such an anti-social problem-sneezer can be
brought under control. No doubt his childhood was fraught with much
turmoil and he never had the opportunity to learn to sneeze in a more
careful manner.
Indeed, a sneeze should always be gracefully performed and with a
social conscience. I polite "achoo" is certainly more socially
acceptable than a boisterous "yeehaw", splurt. Sneezing should be
performed delicately whenever possible.
Now, regarding the number of sneezes in a row that are acceptable in
polite society: Most authorities recommend no more than two sneezes in
a row. It is often thought discourteous to sneeze only once as the
audience is then waiting expectantly for an encore that does not occur.
By the same token, sneezing three or more time in a row is certain to
be frowned upon in most circles. Exceptions would perhaps include a
raucous group of men or boys where the sneezing provides a certain
comic relief to an embarrassing situation. In such cases the
well-delivered sneeze can be considered to be mildly amusing or even
hilariously funny.
When should we not sneeze? This was partially covered in my last column
where I discussed methods of suppressing a sneeze and under what
conditions such action should or should not be undertaken. Write to me
if you need to request a back copy. In general, it is good to sneeze
whenever necessary, but to refrain from doing so when unnecessary, and
sneezing should not be provoked in another person for the pure fun of
it.
This brings to mind a question that bears on a related subject. Many of
you have written asking if there is a recommended time of day when
sneezing is best enacted. This depends largely on individual preference
as some people are morning sneezers and some are afternoon sneezers.
The dread night sneezer abounds in inner city areas or where fresh air
and water are difficult to obtain.
Sneezing between the hours of 1 to 3 p.m. is generally discouraged in
countries where the daily siesta occurs during that time period.
To sum up, I think it necessary to mention that sneezing etiquette is a
subject requiring a good deal of study to be properly carried out. One
should not become over-stressed with the considerations involved
however, as this may inadvertently either bring on a sneezing attack or
reduce one's proper quota of sneezes.
Until next time this is Dr. Kachoo wishing you happy sneezing and a
pleasant weekend.
Note: Any remedies recommended by Dr. Kachoo may be wholly imaginary and are not to be confused with the real thing.